Ah, Thanksgiving—a holiday where we’re supposed to focus on gratitude and togetherness, but often end up focusing on survival. Between juggling casseroles, relatives, and sugar-fueled toddlers, keeping your sanity intact feels like winning the lottery. Luckily, we’ve dug into the research and pulled together some expert-backed tips to help your Thanksgiving stay smoother than your grandma’s mashed potatoes. Spoiler alert: bribery with pie may or may not be involved.

1. Burn Energy Before the Feast

Dr. Amy Carter, a pediatric psychologist, says kids are like little soda bottles—shake them up, and they’ll fizz all over the place unless you release some energy first. Her advice? Build in some pre-meal physical activity. “This can be as simple as letting them run around outside, organizing a mini family football game, or even a quick dance-off in the living room,” Carter suggests. Bonus: the adults get a head start on burning off that third helping of stuffing.

No backyard? No problem. A game of Simon Says, freeze dance, or an obstacle course made of pillows can do the trick. The goal is to tire them out so they’re more likely to sit through the meal without channeling their inner Tasmanian Devil.

2. Prep Them with a Visual Schedule

Kids thrive on predictability (even if your Thanksgiving rarely goes as planned). Dr. Sarah Lee, a developmental psychologist, says a simple visual schedule can be a game-changer for little ones.

“Draw a timeline of the day with pictures or words: ‘playtime,’ ‘turkey time,’ ‘dessert,’” Lee explains. “This helps kids understand what’s coming and reduces the ‘Is it pie yet?’ questions every two minutes.” Make it fun by letting them decorate the schedule with stickers or crayons. And if someone asks why there’s a picture of a turkey wearing sunglasses? Just say, “Because turkeys can be cool, too.”

3. Involve Them in the Kitchen (But Keep It Simple)

According to culinary therapist Jenny Martin, letting kids help in the kitchen can turn chaos into connection. “Give them small, safe tasks like stirring batter, sprinkling marshmallows on the sweet potatoes, or taste-testing cranberry sauce,” Martin suggests. Pro tip: Set up a “kid cooking station” with their own bowl and spoon to mix things that don’t matter (like flour and air). They’ll feel included without slowing down your actual cooking process. Just be prepared for some very enthusiastic, flour-covered helpers.

4. Kid-Friendly Food Stations for the Win

Picky eaters? Meet your new best friend: the DIY food station. Dr. Laura Chen, a pediatric nutritionist, says giving kids some control over their plates can make them more adventurous eaters. “Set up small bowls of toppings or sides they can mix and match—gravy here, cranberry sauce there,” Chen recommends. You can even create a “build-your-own mini-turkey sandwich” bar with slider rolls, turkey slices, and fun toppings. And if they only eat bread and butter? Hey, it’s Thanksgiving. Pick your battles.

5. Gratitude Games That Don’t Feel Like Homework

Let’s face it—kids don’t naturally sit around contemplating the blessings of indoor plumbing and Wi-Fi. But Dr. Maria Hernandez, a family therapist, says you can make gratitude fun.

“Try a gratitude scavenger hunt,” she suggests. “Challenge kids to find things they’re thankful for around the house—like a comfy couch, their favorite toy, or even their sibling (maybe).”

Another option? Hand out paper leaves and have everyone write or draw what they’re thankful for. Tape them to a “gratitude tree” centerpiece or hang them on the fridge. Bonus points if your five-year-old says they’re thankful for dessert—honesty is key.

6. Keep the Kids’ Table Cool

Remember the dreaded “kids’ table” from your own childhood? Let’s upgrade that situation. Dr. Kevin Patel, a child behavior expert, recommends creating a space where kids actually want to sit. “Stock the kids’ table with fun activities like coloring pages, sticker books, or even a simple craft like stringing beads onto pipe cleaners,” Patel says. “The key is to keep their hands busy and their mouths occupied (with food, not complaints).” Pro tip: Cover the table in butcher paper and let them draw on it. It’s like socially acceptable graffiti.

7. Plan for the Post-Meal Meltdown

Yes, it’s coming. After the sugar highs and the excitement, there will be a crash. To avoid full-on chaos, Dr. Melissa Tran, a child sleep specialist, suggests planning a quiet wind-down activity post-meal. “A holiday-themed movie or storytime can help kids relax while the adults clean up—or sneak another slice of pie,” Tran says. Classic movies like A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving or Frozen (because why not?) can buy you some peace and quiet. And if they nod off mid-movie? That’s a parenting win.

8. Remember: It’s Okay to Break Tradition

Finally, a note from us here at KidMed: if something isn’t working, let it go. Traditions are wonderful, but they aren’t worth your sanity. Pediatrician Dr. Rachel Morgan reminds us, “Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look a certain way to be meaningful. Sometimes, it’s about finding what works for your family right now.” So if you need to order pizza instead of cooking or let the kids wear pajamas to dinner, do it. The memories you make will be the ones that matter—not whether your gravy was Instagram-perfect.

Closing Thoughts: Gratitude and Grace

At the end of the day, Thanksgiving is about gratitude. And even though it’s hard to feel thankful when someone spills cranberry sauce on your favorite sweater, try to embrace the mess. Because one day, your kids won’t need a pre-meal dance-off or a craft-filled table. They’ll just need you—and maybe your famous pumpkin pie recipe. So take a deep breath, pour yourself an extra cup of whatever, and enjoy the beautiful chaos. Happy Thanksgiving!